Violet.

Violet is a 12 year old little girl being seen and cared for by Special Hope Network. She was born with hydrocephalus and a mass on the back of her head, now post surgical removal of the mass and shunt placement. Her tiny form was skeletal, but she was wearing a pink princess tutu when I met her, and her mother’s eyes were full of love and pride. She was the 5th or 6th child that I had seen that day, one of many children with disabilities, but hers were so pronounced - so severe. Violet’s eyes were permanently damaged from the surgery: one fixated towards the right and the other tracking inconsistently without focus. But her smile was beautiful – toothless grin that curved up whenever her mama spoke to her. I reached out to touch her little leg, and it equaled the size of two of my fingers stuck together. It was all I could do not to gasp audibly.

I was struck by the desperation of the situation, that this little girl had feeding difficulties so severe that she may not live to see her 13th birthday. I was surprised by this mother. In a world where her child would normally be hidden, where children and adults with disabilities are misunderstood and mistreated, this mother could not stop cooing and caressing her beautiful child. She was not only keeping this little girl alive somehow, she was loving her openly and seeking out knowledge to give her the best care she could offer. Many mothers who are coming for help with their children with disabilities are still struggling with acceptance and love for their child who has challenges they've never seen before. Not Violet's mama. I have never seen eyes fiercer with pride. And yet, the challenges this mother has to love and care for her baby, her princess, seem insurmountable.

And here I was spending 20 minutes with this child and her mother looking to change her life. I found myself desperately sharing strategies with her for feeding, communication and care as quickly as I could. And yet I knew it was not enough. But my heart welled with hope for this baby and her mama. For although this child would have greatly benefited from modern technology, consistent therapy and a higher level of medical care, this mother was the solution in my eyes – a single voice among a nation of scared and voiceless mothers, saying, “My daughter is beautiful just the way she is and I love her.”Special Hope Network is finding these children and these mothers and supporting them in their pursuit of love, care, and opportunities for their little ones with disabilities. Jake and I sponsor Violet, and I am so thankful that Special Hope Network is working hard to enable and empower her mama to take care of her, all the while providing her with a learning environment that is friendly and encouraging to little ones with special challenges.

The organization that I am a part of, CLASP International, allowed me to meet sweet Violet because they too are working hard to be a part of the solution. I feel privileged to be involved in these organizations, working together from different angles to be a Voice for the Voiceless in Zambia and all over the world.
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Sponsor a Child

Charles

I wanted to let all of you know about a neat opportunity for you to consider or to consider passing along to your friends and family! I wanted you to know about this organization in particular because I love what they're doing! I also want you to be able to copy and paste this if you do know of anyone who is looking for a place to give or a child to sponsor. It's a sacrifice of $35 a month. Definitely a sacrifice, but after seeing this place and seeing these kids reaping the benefits of love and care, it's money well spent.

 

One of the organizations that I worked with when I was in Zambia with CLASP International has opened up a child sponsorship program. Special Hope Network has community centers for children with disabilities and their mothers to come for meals, classes, school, therapy and medical care. Their mission is incredible, with the long-term goal of having a Special Hope Village for adults and children with disabilities to work and thrive in a community where they are accepted! Go to their website and check it out!! The kids' pictures are so fun to look at. They have such joy!

 

Emmanuel

It is rare to know exactly where your donations are going, or to know exactly who they are going to. I had the wonderful privilege of spending a day at their community center and was able to assess many of their kids for speech and intellectual needs, providing their caregivers at the community center with goals and strategies to help these kids communicate and grow.

 

A couple reasons why I believe this organization will last and is worth it:

Ephriam

1. Although founded by a group of Americans who now live in Zambia, Special Hope employs Zambian teachers who have personal experiences in their lives with children with disabilities. This ministry is driven by the Zambians. I have met and worked with these teachers and I have never met a more compassionate and passionate bunch!

 

2. I held these children and met their mothers - Special Hope is making a HUGE difference in these kids lives!!! Kids that would normally not live to see their next birthday because of severe feeding disorders that come with their disabilities. Kids that have been hid in closets and under their beds because they're "different," now out in the open sharing their smiling faces with us!

 

Michael

3. The founders are truly following  Jesus, and He has blessed them in their endeavors thus far. I feel confident in supporting them knowing their relationships with the Lord are genuine.

 

And that's that! I appreciate you reading about an organization that I am passionate about. There are still kids on the website who I got to evaluate and hold, and meet their moms: Michael, Ephriam, Emmanuel and Charles - precious in His sight. There are others up there too, just as wonderful! Little Violet is my sweet one that Jake and I sponsor. I will post her story tomorrow! Say a prayer for them! Special Hope has about 75% sponsored, and when they hit 95% they will be able to start pulling kids off their waitlist! I want to spend this week telling YOU about them so that they can reach their goal.

 

Thank you for reading this AND passing this along! We are all called to give and in many areas. If you're looking for a place to give or don't have one yet, please pray about making a difference in one of these kids lives :).

 

confessions: a look inside my high school locker

No, I'm not in high school. And no, I don't still have a locker. I do have 11 incredible young ladies in my life who do, however, and I know there are a billion others out there in the same shoes - looking into their freshman locker, maybe even on tiptoes, wondering what the next four years hold.

I'm not going to pretend I'm an expert, because I'm not. I have been in those shoes, though, and so have many of my friends. I wonder, what would it look like to crack open that locker that I kept closed and hidden? What would you see if I showed you around? I'm thinking that perhaps if I reveal some secrets, wisdom, tricks and confessions, those staring into an empty locker today may have some insight into their next four years.

I hope you have realized that I'm not really talking about my locker here - I'm talking about my heart. I remember thinking as a freshman in high-school that this was it. I had finally arrived. Now the world was at my fingertips. Finally, I had a blank canvas to start painting on. I was thrilled and terrified all at once.

It is exciting!! You are at a crossroads - physically maturing into young men and women, emotionally deciding what you think about love, life, family and friends, and spiritually changing as your parents' faith becomes your own. Wow. What a pivotal time in your life. Which is why I decided to start this series.

Confessions. Each week I will be opening up a different locker. Many will be my own and some will be second-hand stories of people I know, and then even more will be those that I ask to join me in writing their own stories. And that's all I want to do. I don't want to teach or preach, there are other times and places for that. I want to share stories - stories from the hearts of former high schoolers who have been in those shoes, peeking into large, dark, scary lockers.

Some topics that you can be sure to see: confessions: i think i'm fat, confessions: i made a "B" so i failed, confessions: my friend wants to kill herself, confessions: my parents are too strict....etc.

My hope and my prayer is that freshmen, high schoolers, youth and teens will read some of these stories and find hope - hope that they're not the first person to feel this way, hope that their story doesn't have to look like these, hope that if their story does look like these then there is a way out. And I hope you find Jesus.

I have to warn you, my locker was really messy. My heart was messy too. But behind all the mess - the passed notes, the passing grades, the failed relationships and the hurtful friendships - I want to show you Jesus, because He was there the whole time. I promise you will find Him in any locker, no matter how messy, knocking on the door of every heart...because He loves you deeply.

Isaiah 30:21 "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the Way, walk in it.'"

20/20.

Nostalgia has a way of making the strongest man or woman weak - suddenly overcome with love, memories, joy, sadness, regret. Looking back, we see things in a very different light. Oh how I hate the saying "hindsight is 20/20," but it haunts all of us so much of the time. Part of me disagrees with that statement. I think hindsight is 20/40 or 20/80 - ridiculous clarity that is only afforded to us when all is said and done. And yet, it feels as though we strive for 20/20 in the present, as if that will prevent us from making mistakes, from having regret.

What about those moments we are in where we just can't see around the bend, the corner has yet to appear, the clouds have yet to break. We call these steps of Faith, and our lives are full of them; it's what keeps us reaching our hand out into the darkness to grasp the hand of our Savior, our God, our friend. 20/20 vision in these moments is a privilege and a rarity.

If we had 20/20 vision when we were struggling at the crossroads, there would be no struggle, no crossroads, and no cry for help. I believe the Holy Spirit is the closest tool we have to attaining perfect vision in a foggy world, becoming our corrective lenses, if you will. Even then, a leap of Faith is just that - a leap into the unknown with the assurance that our God is waiting to catch us...waiting to catch us in His arms should we leap in the right direction, and waiting to grab our hand to rescue us should we choose the wrong path.

As "adults" now, we pray and pray for greater and better vision as it comes to the decisions we have yet to make. We also pray for that for our children and the youth in our lives, almost as if we want to impress upon them our 20/80 glasses that have looked into our pasts, saying, "Here you go, look through these, they will take you far. You can learn from my decisions and my mistakes without having to take a leap." I exaggerate of course. I know full well from teachers in my past that good instruction and good discipleship complements and strengthens faith. But just like I have a story woven in my past - of leaps and falls in the dark - so these children and youth have similar stories ahead of them.

What a treasure lies before them in the darkness, where they can build their faith, pray to their Creator, walk gingerly along the edges of cliffs, and then boldly emerge on the other side with scars - wounds healed by a loving and sovereign God. I forget too often that the God who held my hand in the darkness will also take and hold theirs.

My vision is less than perfect, and even knowing the past failures, it is a struggle in the present to continually step out in faith, but I find that each day it's easier. That is our prayer for future generations, is it not? That their Faith would be an unwavering light in the darkness. I pray for grace in the moments of Truth, grace in the moments of doubt, grace in the moments of hesitation. Most of all, I pray that they would understand the grace the Father has for us whether he catches us in his arms or snatches us from the snares of the evil one.

It's this grace that surpasses even the most powerful magnifying glass in clarity and foresight. What a gift to these feeble eyes.

.......................................

2 Corinthians 12:8-9
Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Acts 4:33
And with great power the apostles were giving their testimony to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and great grace was upon them all.

Matthew 21:21
Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done.

“Intoxicated with unbroken success, we have become too self sufficient to feel the necessity of redeeming and preserving grace, too proud to pray to the God that made us.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

flashback friday: love wins.

Thank goodness for Fridays. I have been thinking a lot lately about our relationship with the Lord, how a human can commune with God, and how that looks day to day. I wanted to re-visit a post I wrote in college (prior to Rob Bell's book, might I add). Love Wins. The "love" I refer to is the Agape Love of Christ, and even Christ embodied as the true picture of love. This is an absolute picture of Truth winning in our lives, not an emotional description of a relative feeling. It was good for me to be reminded of what God showed me in 2007.

LOVE WINS

I was studying today, and my friend walked up to share a table with me. I paused to talk for a moment as she pulled out her laptop. The sticker on the cover read "LOVE WINS." Those words were all I could think about for the rest of the day.

Love wins. I have a friend who calls me no matter how long it's been since the last time we've talked. She will often call me three or four times before I call her back. I would think that she would be so frustrated with me by now. We laugh about it when we get together. Her love is greater than my shortcomings. It always wins.

Love wins. I was locked out of my house the other day, and at 1:30 in the morning, I woke up my roommate who had a test the next day to let me in. The next morning, she gave me a huge hug as usual, as if I had never been thoughtless enough to forget my key and selfish enough to disturb her sleep. She never fails me.

Love wins. I say this not because I see it overcoming all in my life, because I definitely don't love like my two friends do. I say this because these words are weighted with hope - hope that my battles are not in vain.

Sometimes I feel like I'm fighting so hard to love others, and sometimes I'm fighting to let others love me. Other times, I'm just fighting for God's love to penetrate my hard heart and warm me from the inside out. It seems in vain. It seems like I'm losing all the time. I feel like I'm never reaching the full potential of love.

That's just the thing, though. I'm not reaching the potential. My efforts are in vain. I am losing - to Love, that is.

I'm realizing every day that Love wins; it wins me. In my battles, I am fighting so hard to live and love, when ironically I'm losing to a Love that is taking me over. It's like I'm swimming towards the boat, trying so hard to get inside so I can start making progress, so I can start moving forward in life, and all He wants me to do is stop and drown - drown in the waves of His Love.

It's so contradictory to what I've thought all my life. I've constantly chased after this life I think He wants me to live, and He wants me to stop and let Him consume me. He wants me to stop fighting and let Love win. And I've thought all along I had to "reach the boat" to get to the Love and where I can finally act out of that Love. I just need to give up and let Love wash over me - over, and over, and over again. And then let the tide take me where He wills.

Stop swimming for the boat. Drown. Let the water seep into my lungs until they're so full that it hurts to breathe. I will die, that is for sure.

But Love wins.

(original post: http://sarahelizabethgriffin.blogspot.com/2007/10/love-wins.html)

musings on momentum.

I have been pondering lately on momentum and how it affects life in general.*

Momentum Noun The quantity of motion of a moving body, measured as a product of its mass and velocity. The impetus gained by a moving object.

Synonyms impetus - impulse - moment Momentum. It's a very powerful word, connotating movement, purpose, drive and power. It is the antithesis of being still. We gain momentum, maintain momentum, and fight losing momentum. Deep down, this is our strife in life - to keep driving toward an end. I am chuckling as I sit here writing and sit here "still" because my  actions could be argued as a halt in my daily momentum. As in physics, there are many things in life that affect and alter the course of our momentum. I think the greatest influence had on momentum are other objects or people that are also driving forward towards a goal. Will those people thwart my momentum or encourage it? Will my course stay or change? Will I gain speed or slow down? Just like a pilgrim's journey, it is important for us to be flexible in our constant drive - some places need to be passed by, and others need to be explored, studied and even merely enjoyed. Our momentum must be variable. Enough with the physics. I am learning about marriage, one of the greatest influences on momentum in my life up to this point. I am learning so much what it means to have a partner in life, who is in all the nooks and crannies of my experiences, and sees everything I see with different eyes, feels everything I feel and yet with a different heart. It was easy for me at first to point my momentum towards him - working at becoming closer to him, seeking his nuances and working towards intimacy with him as my end goal. As we all know, however, two bodies in motion, when they collide head on, they halt or move backwards.  I hate moving backwards. I struggled with my relationship with the Lord and how that should look now that I am pursuing a husband, a friend, and essentially a piece of me now that we are one. I still struggle, but the Lord is gracious to provide me with a loving and faithful husband and a challenging community who presses up against us, changing our course and nudging us to increase our velocity towards Him once more.  Jake, as an incredible leader, has taken my hand and instead of facing me and having our momentum directed towards each other, has drawn me to chase him as he chases the Lord. My husband's daily devotion each morning, kind words, and sweet prayers have pointed us in the right direction. This is how we should be! Running, jogging, walking, crawling, kneeling, resting in the direction of our Savior - hand in hand, side by side, pulling each other along as we head closer and closer to the Kingdom, pausing along the way when we catch glimpses of His Kingdom here on earth. The great thing about this is that while Jake may have my left hand, my right hand isn't empty either. My friends and family who are headed in the same direction all grab a hold and pull me along when I'm weary and guide me when I'm lost.  What an incredible journey! I am convinced and overjoyed and saddened and frightened all at the same time, knowing that I will never know all there is to know about this passionate drive towards Christ. Hands clasped, we keep moving forward, into the unknown. I pray that when we feel like the mundane has overtaken our hearts, we would think on the Lord and our momentum towards him, and realize that no small thing is trivial when found on the road to His Kingdom. ....................................... Matthew 6:33 "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." Galatians 5:7 "You were running well. Who hindered you from obeying the truth?" Galatians 6:2 "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." Ephesians 5:15-16 "Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil." *(Disclaimer: I am not a  physicist, and other than the anatomy of the head and neck, science plays no role in my daily life at this point. This is merely an analogy that I have poorly attempted to create in an effort to make more and more sense of life and our purpose.)

marriage musings (and music)

Graduate. Check.
Get engaged. Check.
Get married. Check.
Buy a house. Check.
Have a baby.....gotcha ;). No check here yet.

Needless to say, sometimes life feels like running through a checklist, and it's all we can do to keep up! Boy, it is fun, though. I am so thankful to have a husband to run through that list with me. I just hope we can camp out on a few of these line items, enjoy the fire, roast some s'mores, and sing a song or two under the stars. Life is too short and God's gifts are too good.

Some things that I have enjoyed while camping out:

Getting to know my wonderful groom - he never fails to amaze me. What's funny is, you think you know someone and love someone on your wedding day, and then suddenly you're a year in with so many surprises and new unknowns. I'm amazed daily at this incredible person that I share my life, my home, my toothpaste, my meals and my couch space with.

Adding one to my family, and becoming a member of another - there's no such thing as too much family. It has been an incredible blessing to see my family love and welcome Jake as if he's always been here, and vice versa, to become a member of his family has been huge! No struggle or conflict is too big that we don't stop thanking the Lord for this support system and their love for us. I have a sister now and Jake has a brother! Dreams come true, and it's been so fun.

Bridging the gap between our differences, but holding onto our identity - this has been the most intriguing part of the whole marriage experience, and I think Jake would agree with me. I'm so thankful Jake isn't exactly like me, but then sometimes I just wish the square peg would fit in the round jar. It's those times that I wish we'd pick up camp and run on to the next pit stop, however, it's in these rough moments that I have fallen in love even more.

A trivial example of this are our tastes in music. I came into this relationship a die-hard Dave Matthews Band fan, following underground artists, the indie scene, and reveling all the more if I was the "first" in my group of friends to discover an unknown artist. Complex notes, even more complex lyrics and off-the beaten path characters. Think of a song that you can brood to. That's my thing. Then here comes Jake - baller, shot-caller - who likes strong beats and down-home small-town truth. Give him a catchy beat and straight-forward lyrics and he's set, singing and dancing his way down an old dirt road in his F-150 pickup truck. And I fell in love.

I'd like to think there's something to my attraction to poetic analogies, and music laced with emotion, all wrapped up in a perfectly crafted album that will send me into a spiral of deep thoughts and spiritual or emotional connectivity. There's a time and a place. But for now, more and more of my days are filled with Texas country, old dirt roads, and windows rolled down on a sunny day, sitting next to a man that cherishes every moment. And I wouldn't trade it for a second.

It's when I've camped out here for a bit that I know marriage is a good thing.